Lessons Learned

A friend of mine wrote this and I think it is well worth sharing for those that want to read it. I have to admit that I do not always act in the best manner but in the future I will try harder to be better at being human.

A ten year old in Illinois commits suicide over bullying. Ashlynn Conner. Her classmates are not even mature enough to understand the full concept of suicide or death. This is tragic on so many levels, but the truth is, we're to blame. We can talk to our children about bullying, drugs, sex, and doing the right thing. But what about us? The missing piece to this puzzle is US! They look to US to see how to behave. Are we critical of others? Do we make fun of people in WalMart or in the mall? Do they hear us making cracks about our neighbors or friends behind their backs, only for us to be sweet with those very same people? Why dont we get it that all of this nonsense begins RIGHT HERE in our homes?! Do you counsel your children against smoking while you're putting in a dip of snuff or lighting up a cig? Every time we criticize someone else for the sake of tearing them down, we add to their arsenal of verbal weaponry that they might use against someone else, without realizing the possible ramifications of those actions. Every time we make fun of that person in the store, we give them permission to do the same. They look to us to learn how to do most things that will take them through life. How they treat others begins with us. Yes, this learning is nurtured and molded by interactions with friends and teachers in school, but the foundation is HERE. Additionally, the way they respond to bullying, be it someone else bearing it or themselves, begins with us. Teach them what to do if they are bullied, but dont let the lesson end there. Teach them that it is NEVER ok to participate or tolerate the bullying of others. Teach them to intervene if it's safe to do so and to contact a grownup if it's not. If that grownup chooses not to intervene, teach them to become relentless to the point of aggravation in order to galvanize someone into doing so. It is heart-breaking to think that a little girl, who should have been looking forward to Thanksgiving break and Christmas, felt that her life was so unbearable that death was her only option. The way I look at it is this - we may have lost our first woman president. We may have lost a woman who would go on and touch the lives of thousands of children as an educator. We may have lost the ONE person who would discover the cure for cancer and save lives. We may have lost all of this - and we have no one to blame but ourselves. To my friends who have had it rough (like me) and have a tendency to make snarky remarks about those who seem to have it easy - check your mouth. Watch what you say in front of your children. Just because someone has money and stuff doesnt mean they are blessed and without problems. Those remarks drip down on our kids who use them in school and the results can be DEVASTATING. To my friends who have had it easy and have a tendency to make snarky remarks about that heavy-set woman in WalMart with the pink sweatpants and six kids - check your mouth. Watch what YOU say in front of your children. That woman in WalMart may be doing the best she can on a shoe-string and her kids deserve as much kindness and TLC as yours do. Your comments about her are being repeated in the schools to her children and THAT is bullying, my friends. To my friends who are homophobic - check your mouth. Those comments peppered with horrible words like "fag" and "homo" are being repeated in school to that one, confused, frail teen who just wants to be loved for who he/she is - this person does not need your child's commentary to feel more like an outcast. This person needs FRIENDS. To my friends who are very religious OR anti-religious - check your mouth. Those mean statements you make in the name of your religion OR against mine are being repeated in the schools. Those who are religious - you should know better. If you follow the Word, you've already been taught to say things to build people up, not tear them down. Those who are anti-religious, making fun of others is just WRONG. Wrong. You dont like it when someone does it to you - so DONT. Ok - where do I fit into this? Well, I am a Christian. Unfortunately, I am also human, which means I fall short every time I turn around. I promise to talk to my kids about bullying. But I also promise to check my mouth the next time I feel like saying something against someone else. What is my reason? Am I criticizing to educate or help? If so, press on. Am I saying it to make fun or out of jealousy? Best left unsaid. It's too late to help Ashlynn. That beautiful little girl is gone. How many more? How many more kids dangling from ropes will it take before WE take responsibility and turn this tide? The lessons our children learn help them evolve into adults. It begins at home. With us. Teach them well and pray.....